Hey Reader!

I may have been hit on a couple of weeks ago.

Weird turn of phrase, right? It invokes unwelcome attention, and this wasn’t that.

The thing is, I’m pretty sure this good-looking, normal-seeming guy asked me for my phone number. But at the time? I totally missed it.

I was at work, helping him design closets for a condo he’s… building? Renovating? I’m a little hazy on the details. Maybe it’s more of an ADU situation. But he needed closet space and wasn’t totally clear on what the future tenants might need, at least the female ones.

A man who isn’t clear on a woman’s desires - a tale as old as time.

Fortunately, I have a better understanding of the long hanging vs. short hanging needs of American women than your average 50-something dude. #goodatmyjob

Anyway, we had a nice interaction; not what I would call flirty, but there was maybe a tad more friendly banter than I enjoy with most of my customers.

At the end of the transaction, I stapled a feedback form to his paperwork. We’re supposed to ask people to fill these out when we've been helpful; they can result in a shout-out which maybe helps with getting a raise.

I’m currently involved in a one-sided undercover competition with one of my colleagues to see who can get the most in a month, so I include them whenever I can. 🥸

I handed Mr. Handsome Contractor the papers and told him that I’d attached a feedback form. He asked if my number was on it.

And maybe if we’d had eye contact at the time I’d have been able to gauge his intentions? But I'd turned away. For a second I wondered why he thought I’d put some kind of number on the paper, but in the end I just said, “No! My name is on there.”

Then he left and I thought about it and I realized that question might have been his way of asking for my phone number. Which, to be honest, I might well have offered him.

You could say that I’m clueless and don’t realize when I’m being chatted up, and you wouldn't be wrong. 🤷🏻‍♀️

But that guy was too subtle.

He probably didn’t want to come off as a total creeper, but by making his request so hard to decipher he didn’t get what he wanted. Namely, the opportunity to get to know me better.

(At least we’re going to assume that’s what he wanted.)

Being subtle can be a terrific tool for acquiring your goals, but if you’ve got limited time and you don’t have deep knowledge of the person you’re hoping will deliver, it’s not going to work.

This is true in business as well as romance. If you’re being too restrained in your calls to action, chances are you’re missing out. 🫤

Casually mentioning that you’ve got an opening for a new client, or a group program coming up, or an event you’re hoping to fill may not be enough of an invitation for your readers to really get it.

You’ve got to juice it up a little - make it sound like the invitation it is, not just a passing remark. I mean, it would be nice to think that people are reading our emails with real consideration, eager to soak up every detail, but let’s be honest.

We’re all busy, multitasking, and bad at paying attention.

You’ve got to be very clear about what you’ve got to offer and why they might want it. Deliver it with excitement! Use a verbal drumroll or two. 🥁

You could, for example, tell your readers that you’ve found a link to something surprising and controversial; adored and infamous in equal measure.

A link that will make some laugh, some scowl, others roll their eyes. A link that delivers nostalgia and reignites discussions about the way we communicate.

A link they should click on immediately or forever experience deepest FOMO.

​A link like this.

Only maybe not this one. 😆

Then you can check your stats and see if you did a good job hyping up your offer. Just so you know, a click-through rate of 2-5% is considered good.

This is such a terrific opportunity to practice persuasive writing. By which I mean making your CTA sound not just valuable but a little intriguing.

Can you find three words to describe the thing you're offering that no one else would use?

Give it a try, and then hit reply and tell me what they are. I won't steal them, I promise. 😁 Need a little help finding just the right word? I love Word Hippo, an online thesaurus that's simple and to the point.

Happy writing, my friend!

Yours in missed connections,

Julia

PS - I'd love it if you took part in my tiny poll, below. Thanks!

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I really hope this poll works - I can't test it in a test email, so honestly, what is the point of a test email anyway?? 🤞🏻

​Justin Bieber is sorry for the bait and switch, and so is this email. Forward it to someone who loves a prank.

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