Hey Reader!

I was busy selling mattresses the other day when I overheard a couple arguing.

At least, I heard a woman speaking angrily to her partner. Unclear what his response was because I was at work, where I am unable to eavesdrop effectively.

The gist of her complaint was that he and his kids were speaking Spanish to one another and she does not understand Spanish. She was feeling ignored and left out.

This is not a new problem in their relationship.

According to her, she asks them to speak English around her at least 100 times per day. Which admittedly sounds exhausting for all parties.

I was trying to be a diligent employee and talk to other customers, but really I just wanted to trail her as she walked away from her BF to see if she was going to call a friend and complain.

No doubt her friends have heard this particular rant many times before but I am still dying to hear the details.

I don’t know these people. And since I couldn’t get the actual facts, I was forced to make them up.

The guy is her live-in boyfriend; the kids are obviously not hers. Neither are they huge fans of hers. Speaking Spanish with one another and their father in front of her is their passive-aggressive way of making her feel separate.

Or maybe this is full-on aggressive?

Meanwhile, the guy was definitely not telling his sons that they should be respectful to his GF by speaking English.

I mean, maybe he was? But his whole vibe was more like let’s just leave her alone, she’ll calm down. Let’s peruse the mattresses and stay cute and wait it out.

Which, I get it. She was mad and I’m guessing any other plan would have escalated the whole situation.

But, my dude, this is not going to get better.

Your kids are going to continue to speak to you in what might well be all of y’all’s native language. And you’re going to continue to respond in kind, and she’s going to keep getting mad, and eventually there will be a nasty breakup.

Maybe you speak Spanish with them because you’re trying to keep your bond with them strong.

Or maybe you’re just kind of a go-along-to-get-along type and you refuse to take a stand with either your girlfriend or your kids and you’re hoping this whole situation will just resolve itself.

Which obviously it will not.

I wish she’d asked for my advice (I wish EVERYONE would ask for my advice!).

I’d tell her to get herself to language school, stat. What if she disappeared for two months and came back speaking solid conversational Spanish?

It would be a huge flex and solve the problem.

If she has any shred of affection for the kids she could tell them she did it for them. And if she dislikes them she’d be taking away their best strategy for annoying her.

Because seriously, does she even like these kids?

Or does she merely put up with them because she likes their dad?

Because that, my friend, is a recipe for disaster. It’s like wearing a pair of boots that pinch like rabid scorpions because they’re the best-looking boots you’ve ever owned. And you got them for half price.

This is a thing I have done and believe me when I tell you that the vision of these gorgeous boots was not worth the pain.

Do not put up with things that hurt.

Everyone in this potential family is deep in their feelings and unless they improve their communication these angry words at IKEA are a harbinger of heartache.

Clearly I have a lot of thoughts about people I‘ve never met and will never see again. 😁

But this is the thing about life; it’s all stories, and if you don’t actually know the story your brain will rush in and make it up.

This would be a terrific time for me to talk about not making assumptions about people but that is NOT where I’m going with this.

In fact, I’m going the opposite direction.

There are a million stories out there, real and invened. Don’t be irresponsible with your imagination, but let it run a little wild.

Have I hurt these weekend shoppers by giving them a backstory that may or may not be true? (But seriously, don’t you think I’m right about them?)

I have not. But I’ve entertained myself mightily.

And I’ve exercised my brain.

Which is something most of us are not doing as often as we should. 😬

Or maybe that’s just me, forgive me if you’re doing the sudoku on the regular.

We’re smack in the middle of the attention economy, and if you want a piece of that here are three things you could offer your audience:

1. Practical advice that makes life easier
2. Recognition that sh*t is hard combined with assurance that there is hope
3. Entertaining stories

Try including at least one of these elements in every email and I’ll bet you’ll get grateful responses. It’s also more likely that your delighted reader will open the next one.

Want to talk about your newsletter and how you could make it better? Schedule a free chat, let’s see what we can come up with.

xo, Julia

PS - Please send me a link to subscribe to your newsletter! I’m a glutton for them.

​The Temptations understand the power of imagination, and so does this email. Forward it to someone who loves a good round of make believe.

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